Nostalgia: See the World with Different Eyes

By Cruzader

This afternoon, I got back home early after-work. I am so glad to know that I won’t get traffic jam on my way back. However, the feeling that I could have worked more haunted me still. The feeling is absurd because by now I still won’t get any extra payment for overtime work. My working time is 8 hours. And for that span of time only will my company compensate me.

Public Transportation did seems to run faster this afternoon at 4.30 pm. We don’t have to stop every two minutes because of mere jam. I sat down relax while listening to my favorite tune in Ipod. I take today, or to be specific this afternoon to evening time as my lucky day. I try to imagine what to do today. I don’t know yet. But I hope I will figure it out when I got back home.

I open my boarding room door. I open the curtain of my cupboard and exchange clothes. I stand and still wonder what to do next. But my eyes catch one golden spot in my room. My convenient bed. What a waste. If nobody slept there, then there is lack of capital utilization. I don’t think that’s a good idea. So I decided, yes I vote to take a nap now. For me it’s an easy decision. It’s like a personal agreement toward God, God, and Glory goals in 18^th century. Why should we offend to those great ideas.

So I pursue my glory, and take an unexpectedly long nap, from 6.30 p.m. to 11.30 p.m. uninterrupted. I set my alarm at 07.45 already, but I think my ears obey my desire yet then my interest. Simply said. I fall into this very enjoyable indulgence.

I woke up and realized that my stomach is growling inside. I sat on my bed and it didn’t took too long until I decided to find dinner or supper as soon as possible. I need it good, fast and hot. So I got up and looking by the small “Kaki Lima” tents for interesting food choice. Somehow I bumped to Nasi Goreng tents; I think it would be just great. It met all of my criteria and it’s a safe choice since I know how it usually tastes like. Yummy.

Vacant time always gives you room to think over. If during work time, your brain is set to work for given goals. During vacant moments, when our brain needs to work, it search for topics we never think before. And that night, almost midnight, my brain has got my feeling very precisely.

It has been long time ago that I haven’t got the same feeling. Like nostalgia, I am here, waiting for fried rice in the Kaki Lima tent of pedestrian curb. It is so Jogja, and I missed it so much. The atmosphere, the cool air, a very relax body, etc surely it gives me very good feeling. However, more than that, what is misses is the feeling to control my own time. The feeling that I can stay up all night without worrying whether I will be tired when I worked the next day. The feeling that I have no burden to earn money to exist. That I am young. That what I should search for is nothing but my own desire and interest. That new opportunity will come closer to me instead for me to run after them. The Utopia of our own. The possibility that open eyes. The dream. The Courage and Hear that follow it. The heaven’s gate to eternal freedom.

My next question arises: Do I really need those freedoms. Will I be very happy when I stay vacant for long term? Two acid questions for any activities I consider is this:

1. Will it turn me into better person?

2. Will it please God in every way?

I think I know the answer: Not Really. Not Sure, but I guess no. Tonight I got my vacant time again to rethink my future. Thanks God. I still have my own time. I know now that I am in charge of whatever I thought and felt during the vacant time. I felt that I have a good time so far and I can be better if I get more focus on my work. I should pursue any dreams I want. I should be wise and consult the owner of wisdom each and every second of my life. I can get anything just everything if I dare to spread my wings and face the truths.

The Promised Land

By Cruzader

Promised land is the place where everybody wants to be in the future endeavor. Almost everybody do have those images in mind. However, not everybody would like to keep it long enough to believe it. They just can’t summon their faith to let it grow and develop into reality. It is common practice to be afraid of asking more for the future. But common practice is a not good enough practice. To be common is not always bad. But holding desire and give up in order to be just common is the worst thing human mind can bear.

Promised Land is about having purpose, a big purpose in their life. People should know not only how they should live but also why they should have lived that way they did in the first place. Without purpose, man is a mere dust. I believe only with purpose a man can be a representative of God on earth.

How should we walk into the promised land, a grand purpose, a vision that lead our entire life? We cannot just walk like that bare handedly. We should bring a good map. We should walk with guidance, manuals, or anything we may call it. For me it can be Bible, my own goal book, my living supporting manual advisor (mother). If we practice the advice in the manual in properly, we can keep our self on the right track no matter what happens. Therefore, We can’t just bring the manual and wish everything will fall into place rightly. We also have to practice them.

A trained mind should also evaluate its manual in any opportunity they have. A manual which can’t be evaluated, those that are not open to questions, a static or given one is not a good manual. A good manual must contain everlasting truths, and therefore can be use without doubt. I consider myself lucky to find Bible as a manual that I can always rely on. Surely, I questioned the truth inside it time by time. However, as I experienced the wisdom inside to be true so many times, I come to be a believer that take bible as my eternal personal manual, the anchor of my life.

When we already have a real understanding and knowledge of our promised land, a good map, we still need other things. We need an ever flowing energy to get us there. Regarding this matter, I can say, it is not about physical needs only, but more important than that is a strong personal value. For me, those values are faith, love, and hope. And the best of them is love. I know this from my manual. These three values boost my energy to bear any load I have taken.

Before, I thought that I should take all my problem by my own. But manual gives me new understanding that I have someone, greater than me, called Jesus that gives me strengths to carry on whatever happens. Before I know how to manage faith, love and hope as my energy, He already showed himself how these three things works out when he save my souls.

Promised land is also all about the future. But how far our horizon about the future is, it all depends on us. Do we tend to think that the world we’re living is the only future we may arrive or we do believe something more than that. Do we believe in heaven, That there is a living after-life? Regretfully we have to admit that some days, somehow all of us, everybody will say good bye to this world. If you choose to believe that your future will last as far as your days in world, then 100 years or more is all you will get. However, we have a choice to what we believe in and choose the right faith and the following attitudes toward our future, our image of promised land. I chose mine already. I am happy with that by now. I am ready to take the consequences whatsoever.

I know the way to my promised land may be a long, bumpy and winding road. But I should take my risks. I hope I will survive and therefore I am keeping my faith with everything I have, even my life itself. How about you? I do hope you choose the right vision of promised land. And that you also already have the right map and manual to bring along the way. I do understand that we, all of us, have all the freedom to choose any promised land we would like to have in mind. It’s too easy to choose but sometimes too hard to know what’s right from wrong. Please challenge your own truth if you wish. I wish you the best life you can get. I wish you good luck on your personal quest. I love you and I know you will prevail and survive…

To my dearest love.

, to those souls wandering in the street, and to all of my brothers and sisters.